Over it...

Yes, as always, the year progresses, and I become less and less motivated.  My mind gets tired, I get cranky, and all I want to do, is eat and watch tv.  I ignore my bills and barely pay them on time, I have the urge to frivolously spend money that I don't have, which then leads me to a sad depression of "whoa is me, how did I get there" and I know how I got there... here.  I just stopped being motivated!

I thought by running this half marathon, I'd reset my mind.  I thought maybe the high of commitment would help me move forward, onward! But alas. I sit here typing, knowing that every time I thought about writing a post, the " i don't wanna's" would be pushing against my skull, "forcing" me to ..not do anything at all. 

The last few days I've had a few great ideas about raising money for the marathon, ie the boat I am about to set sail on (The Rockboat) I'm sure people would donate $1.  And if they did, that would be over $1000 for the Children's research Hospital! How bad ass would that be!! but I've been having a case of the "monkus" and haven't done anything about it.. To be honest after writing this though, it is exactly what I'm going to do... write an email asking if I can solicit ;) muhahah!

Anyhow...back to me not doing anything. So, as of now.  Im just in a funk.  I spent too much money last night, however had a blast, and I keep waking up going "why...I didn't need that last beer or that last cocktail. that was $20" I just like to live in the moment!! In living in the moment I"m losing my moneys! spend spend spend! Sad Sad Sad... binge binge binge!

So how do I solve this... do what I least likely wanna do..set a budget.  I did it for a week and it worked.  I saved so much money! But..I did feel like I lost some friends.  Its a difficult gamble, but I'm willing to sacrifice this go around if it means paying off my debts and going forward with things that are going to better my life rather than drag it down....

I leave you with a clip from Portlandia:) the most expensive ticket I've purchased just based off of nostalgia of this phrase "we can pickle that"