PREVIOUSLY:
The first time I heard that this type of behavior was even.. real was a long long time ago...ok about 7 years ago. I was hanging with a guy who I thought was just "so amazing" I couldn't stop talking about him. Seriously..it got to the point I actually lost some friends..and that should show you just how "amazing" he was. Creatively manipulative, and when I questioned where he was or what he was up to, he would respond with "that girl? you know how some people collect people? she collects a lot of guys. and I'm one of them" or "I've gotta be mean to you, so you'll get over me..so thats why i've been a dick"
Although these honest statements were refreshing when they came out..and only refreshing because I would realize how stupid he was .. it made sense. But why he couldn't just say "hey, i'm not into hanging out tonight." or "yeah i think i'm into this girl" it was all lies. little lies *fools gold, because after he'd say these strange honest, yet hurtful statements, he would wrangle me back in his arms, and with big blue eyes, I'd be back to where I started.
2010:
I met him through a close friend and at first appearance, thought..oh brother this guys a handful. I shouldn't have gotten caught up with the rest of what I thought we had... a real connection.
That first night we hung out he was honest when I asked my strange questions such as "what do people say is the most negative thing about you" and he responded "i'm materialistic" me being on the positive side said "you're just picky" ...his response.." no i'm materialistic"
Again, i tried to brush it off and be positive. We ended up having a real fun night, and he was more opposite than I'd thought. He loved being on the road, country music, beer, and adventures. We spent the rest of the week bowling, drinking, laughing, adventuring. It was great. I dropped him off at the airport, and we hoped we'd see each other soon.
We'd meet up a few more times, but as much as the tension was there, nothing happened..and then there was that one time.... It was random but sweet, and we didn't go as far as I think either of us would've hoped,but we went far enough. The next morning we all hung out ( we..umm shared a room with about 6 other people...oh the world of being in a band and on the road) I gave him a hug and left, but he seemed a little.. distant.
We stayed in touch through phone numbers and twitter, and I noticed he'd acquired a girlfriend. And I could tell she was a handful, but they looked good together. Needless to say this relationship didn't work out, and she turned out to be crazy...duh. I wasn't looking for a relationship with this guy, but his company was sweet, and his kiss was pretty sweet as well. How could a girl resist a good kiss!
We crossed paths in an airport and had 10 minutes to catch up and hug. He told me he'd be back in my city in a few weeks. Uh..what do you think i was thinking..yeah. xoxo boom boom pow yeow! Well...I thought too quick
THIS WEEKEND
He got in on a Thursday and even though he flew in, I didn't hear from him. I bugged him a bit..probably too much "where are ya? what ya doin?!" etc... I found out later he and some friends went to Red door..my local hang. I wasn't feeling well anyway, so no big.
The next day, i got a text from him, and got giddy. I picked him up, coffee, dinner, and a show.. It was a great night, and I paid for dinner so it wasn't a date. Our friend met up with us at the show, and I could tell she was a little uneasy. She asked how our night was and I said we had a coffee date and dinner.. she only heard date and said "he has a girlfriend" I just spent the last few hours talking to this guy about how he didn't want to be in a relationship.
We got back in the car and I had to ask him. He held my hand and said "no! did we not just talk about this?" Thats probably when i lost my chance but all to say he went back to my friends, and i went home.
The weekend continued this way, and he wouldn't tell me where he was, and neither would my friend. It was as if he felt by being mean to me I would be mad at him and just peace out..well it worked. It worked very well..and as a tormented girl I can't help but think, he must actually care a little bit to be so mean. Like boys throwing rocks or hitting girls on the playground. Well guess what, this girl already got pretty beat up, so its going to take some tender manipulation to get back to what I miss. My real connection, communication. I almost ended up losing 2 friends. My girlfriend obviously wasn't very honest with her feelings for her "brother" or maybe she was..but still..weird.
So yes... NO more possibilities. I'm officially available. Applications still being accepted:)
No comments:
Post a Comment