Lately, I've been pinching pennies just so I can have enough money to get gas, pay rent, pay my bills and eat. The beginning of the year is always difficult. Its the end of a big shopping Holiday month and the beginning of getting my taxes ready, and even with the refund, I'm still paying off a debt of some sort.
I've been smart in putting money aside for emergencies only, and giving myself a small budget of $100 a week. $100 covers a tank of gas, food, and a little leisure money. The little leisure money I have, I choose one day in the week to have a beverage or dinner with a friend, and if I don't end up doing that, I put it towards a bill I need to pay. With my paycheck being so minimal, I didn't realize how much I was unable to go out, and because of this, how little my friends were calling me to hang out.
I noticed on my twitter feed, pictures of my friends together, or notifications that a group of people were all hanging out somewhere, and I've been feeling a little bit..well..lonely. I'm getting my finances and my career all lined up, but as far as my friends, they are all kind of disappearing. This when I realized how much I had been, in a sense, worth to my friends as much as I had.
I don't think this was intentional at all. Its just how it works sometimes. Without money, I couldn't go out. If I can't go out, I am not socializing as much. If I'm not socializing as much, i become out of sight out of mind.
Although I was a bit wounded at the realization that some of my friendships were faulty, I enjoyed being able to come home to a well organized clean home. I also enjoyed getting up early, running, and not being hungover. Its been a new dawn!! but ... without friends..I still have felt penniless
Last night I decided to go out, have a drink, and go where the night carried me..oops..until 4 am. I got to a bar where some friends I hadn't seen in awhile were at. Upon my arrival, I saw an all too familiar face...a boy I'd been trying to text the entire night, but he kept ignoring me. I acted as if I didn't recognize he was there and talked to my friends, but he came over and said hello. Upon his hello I confronted the matter that he didn't get back to me, and it was fine, so we decided to reconcile over shots.... slight problem..his friends followed, and before you know it, I was out $63.
The rest of the night I had friends. We carried the night away until we needed some drunken food. I was more than happy to grab some and thought I would be able to stay over as well.. at least was hoping. But upon my arrival to their place, I found, I was back on the road, with fast food in the passenger seat, not knowing if I would ever see these friends again.
They say you win some you lose some, I guess they're not just talking about money, but people too. I just wish more would stay consistent. If they did, than maybe I could "invest" more for the future.
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