I'm a musician. I have bills to pay, dreams to pursue, and thoughts trapped in my head, which I try to eloquently put into song.. Besides that, I'm pretty normal..or so I think......
Yes, as always, the year progresses, and I become less and less motivated. My mind gets tired, I get cranky, and all I want to do, is eat and watch tv. I ignore my bills and barely pay them on time, I have the urge to frivolously spend money that I don't have, which then leads me to a sad depression of "whoa is me, how did I get there" and I know how I got there... here. I just stopped being motivated!
I thought by running this half marathon, I'd reset my mind. I thought maybe the high of commitment would help me move forward, onward! But alas. I sit here typing, knowing that every time I thought about writing a post, the " i don't wanna's" would be pushing against my skull, "forcing" me to ..not do anything at all.
The last few days I've had a few great ideas about raising money for the marathon, ie the boat I am about to set sail on (The Rockboat) I'm sure people would donate $1. And if they did, that would be over $1000 for the Children's research Hospital! How bad ass would that be!! but I've been having a case of the "monkus" and haven't done anything about it.. To be honest after writing this though, it is exactly what I'm going to do... write an email asking if I can solicit ;) muhahah!
Anyhow...back to me not doing anything. So, as of now. Im just in a funk. I spent too much money last night, however had a blast, and I keep waking up going "why...I didn't need that last beer or that last cocktail. that was $20" I just like to live in the moment!! In living in the moment I"m losing my moneys! spend spend spend! Sad Sad Sad... binge binge binge!
So how do I solve this... do what I least likely wanna do..set a budget. I did it for a week and it worked. I saved so much money! But..I did feel like I lost some friends. Its a difficult gamble, but I'm willing to sacrifice this go around if it means paying off my debts and going forward with things that are going to better my life rather than drag it down....
I leave you with a clip from Portlandia:) the most expensive ticket I've purchased just based off of nostalgia of this phrase "we can pickle that"
I was woken up at 7am by a text. "gong" I thought to myself, who would be texting me this early in the morning?! I slowly rolled over and grabbed my phone. Grabbing my phone took too much energy out of me, so I laid it on my chest. "bzzzz..." the reminder on my phone vibrated against my vocal chords.
I opened my eyes a crack, and then like Japanime I was awake. It was a text from Mr. Materialistic/ Mr. Fools Gold. I was surprised. I was even more surprised by his text!! "come to la. write with my best friends. they want you so bad for session work" My heart leaped, its still leaping. so...he was talking about me:) hehehe. oh us girls are so silly. He went on about how he wanted me to make moves, so i can make moneys, and I responded yes, so we can travel the world, and then he said he loved me, and said i loved him too..giddy giddy giddy xoxo hearts stars and...STOP! hold up...whats happening here.
I was flattered. I am flattered, but all this flattery leaves me all hot and bothered. I'm finally hanging out with a guy who communicates the best out of anyone, he cooks, he's clean, he's motivated, and I think kind of likes me..pretty sure he does, and then 'KABOOM' well...hellooooo.
Its interesting, they say when you are not looking is when things come your way. Its always true. But I believe that's because you find it in the growing process of becoming stronger, being comfortable in your own skin. Than once you are comfortable and things begin to move you have to become vulnerable yet again, and allow people to assist you and continue to build you up. One big flipping roller coaster. And now I'm on a roller coaster that is starting to have detours.
As much as I like Mr. Materialistic, Im really interested to see where Mississippi Mushu will lead. In all honesty I'm thinking Mushu is going to end up being a dear friend. Mr. Materialistic (remember..he's really not.just picky) He is kind of tugging at my heart strings a little more. In a strange way I'm starting to understand the choice The Bachelor has to make..but he makes some pretty dumb ones.
all in all, it was a great surprise and definitely motivated my day. I'm flattered. I've never experienced this before and its honestly kind of nice:) Having 2 guys care for you, be cautious, and curious about what you're thinking...hmm..if they only knew what I'm thinking.. than they'd be in for the surprise:)
So an interesting turn of events has happened the last 48 hours. Remember that whole, "man fast" thing..well I lasted 4 months.
I am a fairly social person. I love people. I love music. And this recipe has somehow allowed me to be able to become friends with very influential people mostly in the entertainment business. I was invited to an elite club for a secret music show. By elite, I mean people with an extraordinary amount of money, as well as those, similar to myself, are not "Super Fans" but can basically keep themselves composed in said Elite atmospheres.
Upon arrival, I socialized with many friends who I hadn't seen in awhile because of them being on tour, or me being out of town. I promised myself to be in bed by 12/1230, and no drinks!! And do we think that happened, of course not. When you're gabbing with old friends getting the scoop on whats new, of course some how everyone grabs a drink and enjoys the oral fixation of a tiny straw or bottle neck in their mouth.
I was floating around the club, when a friend of mine came to me at the bar. " Do you know the twins? They have a table around the corner with bottle service so come over when you have a second" Bottle Service? oh no.... my no drink, 2 drink minimum, just became "who cares! lets party it up!"
I finished my conversation at the bar, but not before taking a whiskey shot, and began my venture to the other side of the room. I continued to stop and say hello to friends and meet new colleagues, and as I finally came to the table where my "posse" was enjoying "bottle service" I saw neither twins nor bottle service. A true sigh of relief came over me. And then I met Mr. Paisley as we'll call him...and behind him, the twins.
I cornered my gal pals, and the band began to play. The were actually really good. A mix of Shiny Toy Guns, with their own LA esque flavor. We were dancing up a storm, and Mr. Paisley was holding a Voss Glass Water bottle, getting "groovy" He seemed like a sweet guy, so in between songs, I introduced myself. As we were meeting this short blonde haired guy with an old 20's style mustache, wiggled and squirmed a dance, that was almost like watching some type of Zen, Tae bo, dance with a twist of rave pop. It was hilarious.
I looked next to Mr. Mustache, and was shocked to see someone in what I would call West Coast ware. Graphic tee with a button down on top, shaved head, and sweet blue eyes with little crows feet at the corner from being out in the sun too much...hopefully from surfing. It was like looking into the eyes of an old friend, and I had to ask him, "you visiting from CA?"
"Just moved here 5 days ago actually. Originally from Mississippi"
"you in the music business than I assume?"
"yeah, my brother and I do a lot of different things actually. We write for large broadcast companies, NBC, MTV, etc. We also flip houses, & have a beer we're about to start marketing. Girl, look at you!"
The repetitive "look at you" became both of the twins phrase. And as they continued to talk, I found out they could do just about anything. Cook, clean, fix, invent, and In my head I kept thinking, what are they the twin MacGyvers?
"Anything you want girl, when the waitress comes by, you order anything you want"
I looked over at my girlfriends...bottoms up chicadees!
We continued drinking, and it wasn't till my girlfriends left and most people had left the bar that I recognized the time. 1:45 am. I looked over at "Mississippi Mushu" (reason being Mushu was a dragon, and I have coined the term ' I slayed a dragon '... I know.. clever) Mr. Mustache, and Mr. Paisley had left 'MM' and so, I had to take him home.
Upon arrival to his house, were some other friends and it wasn't til I arrived at his house, I realized how much I really did have to drink. The night was winding down, and I let him know, I really did need to sleep. He understood and gave me some PJ's and it was off to bed.
..ummm....yeah we didn't just go to bed. Cut to after, it was great. It was really great, but I kept thinking..oh no, i've opened the door to being used again, and omg...I just met this person. It was my first one night stand with someone I had just met. what was I thinking!!! I left the next morning, getting those darn Shotgun Memories, twitching when I'd remember something.
The next night he met me at a bar, and we went home together, and nothing happened. I had to let him know, that I wasn't going to be a Fuck Buddy. I needed to recognize, as well as did he, that I was someone to be respected I couldn't just sleep with anyone. I'm trying to regain the "sanctity" Of sex, but its not easy.
I have a feeling these Twins are going to be a consistent topic. Luck for me they seem to be great legit guys. I guess we'll find out.
So good ol' Valentine's day:) I was actually baptized on Valentines Day when I was 13. I wouldn't say it was my true baptism, it was more an action, but all in all it was a special occasion. I wore a robe and had to practice how I was going to dunk. My pastor Jerry Root, baptized me. He was/ is an amazing pastor, that later, became a mentor for me in College..strange how life works in that tangled way.
Speaking of tangled ways, I suppose I"ll talk about last nights events. Let me preface this by saying, I am NOT a Valentine's hater. I Love Valentines day. I've never had an absolute rotten one, and there really is no need for pouting or feeling sorry for ones self. Its a day to reflect on Loving others, and being loved. Ah! I love it. It also helps I'm super into the shape of hearts;) just ...love em:)
I digress:) hahha! but seriously... I got a text from a dear man friend asking if I had plans Tuesday. I didn't even recognize what Tuesday was, so I replied "working till 7, than nothing. What we doing?!" He replied back "dinner on me? and you can bring a date if you like:) " this is when it dawned on me it was Valentine's. I couldn't believe it! The place we were going, Holland House, uber delicious!! I let him know I was open to any male suggestions...oh the risk
In my mind I hoped that he would invite someone who I would be at least interested to converse with, but when I got to the dinner with my pink suede heels, I found a beautiful cast of couples, that I absolutely adore, as well as a good gal and male pal, but no suggestions. As overjoyed as I was to see my beautiful friends, I couldn't help but be a little bummed that there was no other person there. But my friend who was paying for all of us, is also a musician. With being a musician, comes musician friends, and I will NOT date a musician, so cest la vie, we carried on.
I woke up this morning still reminiscing the evening and recognizing how I had met all the people at the table. My Man friend, I had met at the young age of 18 at a Christian Concert. His band was pretty big amongst the Christian Community, and my friend was dating him. I never thought I'd see him again, but after all these years, we kept running into each other. With him moving to Nashville, he met his girlfriend who's best friend I met separately through a PR company, of whom I met because I decided to meet with a couple I had met in an icecream shop I used to work at. The other couple, I had met the male figure first at a bar. We rendezvoused at my Man Musician Friends house, and I really lost interest, but we did share a small pecked kiss...but that was it. His current girlfriend is a doll and love them together.
I still can't stop thinking about the food without salivating! So Yummy! The company was perfect, and to top it all off, it was my Man friends, girlfrends bday. I couldn't have asked for a more. And there we all sat. Enjoying an evening with laughter, stories, and
food. I just wonder what the next year will bring and how much more
love I will gain. Keep me tangled in this wild web of love!!
So, I realize, I've been complaining about my friends being sketchy and feeling left out, but maybe I've been wrong. Maybe they truly just forgot to text me, or are just too busy to hang out. I guess I've always aspired to be a person who everyone loves. I've always wanted to be that person, that no matter what, you trusted, and always wanted around, but we're all human, and we all need a break from certain people.
I've heard at times that I was "kind of intense" but only from people who didn't really know me. My intensity is kind of a security blanket, as well as a defense mechanism. I compare my awkward intenseness to a peacock or, I suppose like 2 male species fighting for the attention of a female..except i'm kind of fighting for the attention of the room/ that particular person. I don't like being around timid personalities. I have a big personality, and I like to be around people who want to do great things, however small they may be in one persons eyes, if they are motivated and moving forward, I want to be with that person. My thing is, if you can't handle this force of intense i'm projecting, than I don't have time for you..sorry.
I suppose at times this idea of weeding out friends, is not full proof, but so far has been alright. There have been of course a few times it has smacked me in the face, but for the most part, my intuition wins. Recently with all these friends disappearing, I never really took a step back and recognized that sometimes, people may only be able to handle me in small doses. I definitely have friends I can only handle for 24 hrs...or less, so I need to respect that the same goes for other people.
This last weekend all the people I wasn't hanging out with, came back around. I heard their stories of what was going on and realized that Twitter was covering up what was going on behind closed doors very well. Oh technology. May be true that just because I didn't have money for a while I didn't receive a phone call to hang, but that was also my doing. There also was some drama that I did hear about, and did confirm that that was the reason I wasn't being called, but truthfully..best to stay out of it anyway.
I still think that money and my friends does play a big part, and thats really..unfortunate. It was like watching myself in a "Housewives of _____" I have friends who I now notice love me no matter what. I have others who I can only enjoy hanging out with because they all have the common bond of money. All in all, I may have been wrong in thinking my friends you were talking behind my back and maliciously not calling, but I really can't help but wonder.
In other news, today marked a very sad event. Whitney Houston passed away. I really can't believe it. It is so unfortunate and heart breaking. The Grammys were also on tonight, and it was quite the spectacle. I wasn't able to watch the whole thing, but I have it recorded and I'm looking forward to all the tributes. Whitney..you were an inspiration for so many. I'm so sorry the anguish, heartbreak, and troubles you had to suffer. As we don't know what the cause of death was currently, we all hope and pray your daughter can rise above all this, and that you may finally...Rest In Peace
I'm a pretty good communicator. At least I think I am. If you call me and I don't want to talk to you, I will not pick up. If I pick up and I don't want to go to something you're asking me to go to, I'll tell you I don't want to go. If you ask me if you like your haircut, and I don't...but..i can tell you're in love with it, I'm not going to crush your spirits, but I'll probably make a suggestion as to how it could look better. All to say, I feel i'm pretty good at communicating.
So in this day and age, we not only have to worry about the inflections in our voice, our nonverbal communication, or our verbal phrasing, but we also have to consider how we type, text, and emoticon it. If you ever receive any type of email or text from me, it will look something like this:
!!!!!! :/ :) :( ,:D ^_^ ???? .....
I pretty much text how I speak, because some where along the lines, someone ends up reading into something that they shouldn't. Another thing I do, is if someone I don't care to speak for texts me..i won't text them back. This is pretty general, but I usually won't text back because I never want to speak to the person again, I feel that no response should say it all. Although this is how I approach it.. without confrontation, I assume others do the same...but for the reasons they stop communicating..thats what i don't understand.
When the "last boy" did not text me back, I assumed he didn't want to hang out with me, but why not? Everything was fine, and I knew he wasn't interested in our friend. Our mutual friend didn't communicate with me either though...hmmm. I did however, text to the point of possible "boy who travels with bands" planning annoyance. But i'm a planner! Maybe I communicated too much, but so what!! At this point, because I'm such a planner and communicated..i'm assuming he thinks i'm some crazy person like his ex who hit him in the face...ok so maybe i did that to an ex once, but he deserved it (no really, ex and I broke up and 2 days later we went out together and he kissed another girl in front of me..deserved. "last boy"s girl, just slapped him cuz she was drunk)
So, then there's tonight. I introduced a guy friend who is in town just until tomorrow, to a friend I was just getting to know last night. They exchanged numbers and we talked about enjoying tonight, and painting the town red! My gal pal and I both had separate plans earlier in the night, but as soon as they were done we contacted one another.
First it was meet here, than it was meet there, and then I went there, and waited..and waited...and decided to walk where I knew other people I knew would be around so I wasn't freezing all by myself at some bar. I couldn't get a hold of my guy friend, so I called my gal pal, expressed my frozen ness and suggested they all meet up with my gal pal and I's other friends.
I got a "on the phone call you in a bit" but that never happened. I tried to contact other members in the band, but nothing. absolutely nothing. did they get what they wanted? yes, and what was that. A few attractive girls phone numbers and although, i of course am attractive (wink wink) I wasn't going to sleep with any of these guys, so..leave her in the dust. Now maybe that isn't true, but what else am I to think? I'm in a bar..by myself..because i was told to meet there, but nothing..and still nothing.
I even made a joke of "no idea where you fools are! :D! " and nothing. Id only hope my gal pal and guy friend went on a little rendezvous..and how great am I to hook them up, but a little "hey things are going down ;) * wink face " would have been nice.
I am getting the feeling still that people are trying to push me out, but I really don't know what I've done. I haven't taken money, or talked bad about anyone. I haven't embarrassed or harassed. If anything I've spent more than enough time, and sometimes money for/ with these people, who obviously are not appreciative..and so i cut them out. I cut them out, and I find more friends, and then those friends go and the other ones come back, but then, i realize I have but a few close friends, and I guess thats why they call them best friends.
Hope some day I"ll know. I'm really tired of annoying people and making them think they don't want to hang out with me, at least thats what I think they are thinking...no idea why!
Lose 1 friend, Gain 50 more friends, lovers, $, knowledge.
He left today, off to Chicago, and I couldn't be happier. Here's to the official first day of being available..oi!
PREVIOUSLY:
The first time I heard that this type of behavior was even.. real was a long long time ago...ok about 7 years ago. I was hanging with a guy who I thought was just "so amazing" I couldn't stop talking about him. Seriously..it got to the point I actually lost some friends..and that should show you just how "amazing" he was. Creatively manipulative, and when I questioned where he was or what he was up to, he would respond with "that girl? you know how some people collect people? she collects a lot of guys. and I'm one of them" or "I've gotta be mean to you, so you'll get over me..so thats why i've been a dick"
Although these honest statements were refreshing when they came out..and only refreshing because I would realize how stupid he was .. it made sense. But why he couldn't just say "hey, i'm not into hanging out tonight." or "yeah i think i'm into this girl" it was all lies. little lies *fools gold, because after he'd say these strange honest, yet hurtful statements, he would wrangle me back in his arms, and with big blue eyes, I'd be back to where I started.
2010:
I met him through a close friend and at first appearance, thought..oh brother this guys a handful. I shouldn't have gotten caught up with the rest of what I thought we had... a real connection.
That first night we hung out he was honest when I asked my strange questions such as "what do people say is the most negative thing about you" and he responded "i'm materialistic" me being on the positive side said "you're just picky" ...his response.." no i'm materialistic"
Again, i tried to brush it off and be positive. We ended up having a real fun night, and he was more opposite than I'd thought. He loved being on the road, country music, beer, and adventures. We spent the rest of the week bowling, drinking, laughing, adventuring. It was great. I dropped him off at the airport, and we hoped we'd see each other soon.
We'd meet up a few more times, but as much as the tension was there, nothing happened..and then there was that one time.... It was random but sweet, and we didn't go as far as I think either of us would've hoped,but we went far enough. The next morning we all hung out ( we..umm shared a room with about 6 other people...oh the world of being in a band and on the road) I gave him a hug and left, but he seemed a little.. distant.
We stayed in touch through phone numbers and twitter, and I noticed he'd acquired a girlfriend. And I could tell she was a handful, but they looked good together. Needless to say this relationship didn't work out, and she turned out to be crazy...duh. I wasn't looking for a relationship with this guy, but his company was sweet, and his kiss was pretty sweet as well. How could a girl resist a good kiss!
We crossed paths in an airport and had 10 minutes to catch up and hug. He told me he'd be back in my city in a few weeks. Uh..what do you think i was thinking..yeah. xoxo boom boom pow yeow! Well...I thought too quick
THIS WEEKEND
He got in on a Thursday and even though he flew in, I didn't hear from him. I bugged him a bit..probably too much "where are ya? what ya doin?!" etc... I found out later he and some friends went to Red door..my local hang. I wasn't feeling well anyway, so no big.
The next day, i got a text from him, and got giddy. I picked him up, coffee, dinner, and a show.. It was a great night, and I paid for dinner so it wasn't a date. Our friend met up with us at the show, and I could tell she was a little uneasy. She asked how our night was and I said we had a coffee date and dinner.. she only heard date and said "he has a girlfriend" I just spent the last few hours talking to this guy about how he didn't want to be in a relationship.
We got back in the car and I had to ask him. He held my hand and said "no! did we not just talk about this?" Thats probably when i lost my chance but all to say he went back to my friends, and i went home.
The weekend continued this way, and he wouldn't tell me where he was, and neither would my friend. It was as if he felt by being mean to me I would be mad at him and just peace out..well it worked. It worked very well..and as a tormented girl I can't help but think, he must actually care a little bit to be so mean. Like boys throwing rocks or hitting girls on the playground. Well guess what, this girl already got pretty beat up, so its going to take some tender manipulation to get back to what I miss. My real connection, communication. I almost ended up losing 2 friends. My girlfriend obviously wasn't very honest with her feelings for her "brother" or maybe she was..but still..weird.
So yes... NO more possibilities. I'm officially available. Applications still being accepted:)
So, its happening... I'm about to have no dates, no boys, no males in my bed until my birthday..in August. Thats 6 months away. So here's whats going on.
My first time, i was 18. After that, I wasn't with anyone until I was 22. To shorten the story, lets just say, I didn't particularly want to be with the 2nd guy, but it happened and after that..i went on a rampage.
Since 2005, i don't think i've gone more than 3 weeks without kissing, cuddling, making out, hooking up, being in relationship with someone. It wasn't until I was talking to my roommate about this, that we both realized...we need a detox.
Like any detox, you go through the withdrawals, the tantrums, and you want to quit, and then there's the relapse. And this is why, my roommate and I are joining forces..but its been difficult. I never saw myself as a "serial dater" but as it turns out, I'm just a "serial luster" I want, i get, want it again, but it doesn't stick and I keep going after my dirty habit.
The first thing I've had to do, is get rid of the remainder guys that I could just call up and well..booty call. It started with one of my young guns...he's ...exceptionally younger than me, but we've always had a good time. That was pretty easy. I just stopped calling/texting/ attending his shows. He's young enough, girls his age are like young snakes and don't know how to stop biting.
The second one ( yeah there's multiple) our lust affairs were sneaky from the start. Turns out one of his ex girlfriends was a friend of mine. Yes, I'm a bit of a bad person, because before hooking up with him, i found out this information, but time had passed, this girl got a boyfriend, and we went at it..several times. But, he insisted it be kept secret. so we did.
I went to a party he was throwing, and oops! Caught him in his room with another girl. Having to get my keys from his room was a bit awkward, but necessary, and meh..i wasn't emotionally attached, so "bon voyage!"
There were several others in the mix, but this last one...ooh this last one. He's here now. Sweet, big heart, he's got that twinkle smolder look.. From the outside you'd probably go..really? you and him? Yeah, he's really hot, and i'm really awkward.. but.. Yep..it works. Except for one thing. He's so in love with the road, he's scared to face whats right in front of his face, and me being the persistent one, I think if anything i'm chasing him away. Its going to be tough seeing this one go, but so necessary.
Its 7pm, and I"ve told a friend I'd meet her for some Wine...I'm still waiting for this last one to call me to hang out. I'm scared its not going to happen...i'm sad its not going to happen, and then the truth will sink in; I'm beyond single.
Lately, I've been pinching pennies just so I can have enough money to get gas, pay rent, pay my bills and eat. The beginning of the year is always difficult. Its the end of a big shopping Holiday month and the beginning of getting my taxes ready, and even with the refund, I'm still paying off a debt of some sort.
I've been smart in putting money aside for emergencies only, and giving myself a small budget of $100 a week. $100 covers a tank of gas, food, and a little leisure money. The little leisure money I have, I choose one day in the week to have a beverage or dinner with a friend, and if I don't end up doing that, I put it towards a bill I need to pay. With my paycheck being so minimal, I didn't realize how much I was unable to go out, and because of this, how little my friends were calling me to hang out.
I noticed on my twitter feed, pictures of my friends together, or notifications that a group of people were all hanging out somewhere, and I've been feeling a little bit..well..lonely. I'm getting my finances and my career all lined up, but as far as my friends, they are all kind of disappearing. This when I realized how much I had been, in a sense, worth to my friends as much as I had.
I don't think this was intentional at all. Its just how it works sometimes. Without money, I couldn't go out. If I can't go out, I am not socializing as much. If I'm not socializing as much, i become out of sight out of mind.
Although I was a bit wounded at the realization that some of my friendships were faulty, I enjoyed being able to come home to a well organized clean home. I also enjoyed getting up early, running, and not being hungover. Its been a new dawn!! but ... without friends..I still have felt penniless
Last night I decided to go out, have a drink, and go where the night carried me..oops..until 4 am. I got to a bar where some friends I hadn't seen in awhile were at. Upon my arrival, I saw an all too familiar face...a boy I'd been trying to text the entire night, but he kept ignoring me. I acted as if I didn't recognize he was there and talked to my friends, but he came over and said hello. Upon his hello I confronted the matter that he didn't get back to me, and it was fine, so we decided to reconcile over shots.... slight problem..his friends followed, and before you know it, I was out $63.
The rest of the night I had friends. We carried the night away until we needed some drunken food. I was more than happy to grab some and thought I would be able to stay over as well.. at least was hoping. But upon my arrival to their place, I found, I was back on the road, with fast food in the passenger seat, not knowing if I would ever see these friends again.
They say you win some you lose some, I guess they're not just talking about money, but people too. I just wish more would stay consistent. If they did, than maybe I could "invest" more for the future.
Have you ever seen, "I love you man" well, if you have you'll understand this.
I met this super great girl a few months back, and we never were able to meet up again. We tried, but it never worked out and then we ran into each other again at a show, and we made a point to hang out. Tonight was our first "date" and it was amazing.
Talk about timing. I feel if we were to have hung out before it wouldn't have been the same as tonight. We bonded over girly beverages and story conversations. She's been married more than a year now, but she's the type of girl who even though she's married, still gets out and I love that!! They're hard to come by. We totally share the same interests. and as our conversation escalated, I could tell there were more stories to tell.
We ended our date with a cigarette and a giddy plan to hang out over the weekend. She wants me to meet a boy named Chad..who knows. ..maybe this will get me over "Love of My Life"
For now im' so excited to see where this friendship goes. Shes' ridiculously beautiful, which intimidates me a little bit, but there's something there. She's a total God send... so many mysteries, and we'll just have to see about this man friend she has for me... Date 2! oooooh!
