My room mate came home the other day, with an idea. " Lets not date till our birthdays" (ie. August) I looked at her confused, and asked "why?!" Her explanation was this. The only reason why her and I had felt this need to be with someone was because of the serotonin that is released when we are close with someone. Its a kind of high if you will.
She continued to tell me, that her friend "Pablo" had done the same thing when he was her young age of 23. He would go out and have a good time, and not really worry about long term. He was always looking, for lack of a better term, a void, to remedy a wound of a lover past. He realized that the only thing he was doing, was beating himself up by sleeping with these random people. He was trying to get the satisfaction of a companion, when in truth the companion he was with, had no true lasting meaning.
I started thinking about my "That One, " or the "One that got away without payback" then I recognized that after him, I was in a way, serial dating. I would have a "good time" with a few, and then like one of them, but they would hurt me so, then I was back to square one having a "good time". No matter what, I was always with someone.
Last night I had a really great night. I should probably share how great the night was with another post. But at the end of the night, I was not the girl, who finally got to kiss or make out with the boy she's been eyeing for months. No, I slept on the couch, to find out later this "victim" I had tried to make had actually been with someone else last night. I suddenly felt disgusting. why would I want to be just "another one of those" and why would I want a guy who would want that. I don't want to think that I may have lost out on a really great guy, because he heard I was "with" a few different people.
I don't know if I can not date till August, but a few weeks will do for starters. Lets just see if this works:)
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