FREAKING 30

Who doesn't every now and then "freak out" My definition of "freaking out" is when there is something that in the end will work itself out, but in the moment, we try and control/figure it out on our own, and when it doesn't go according to plan...we "freak out"

Current things I'm freaking out about:
1) Being almost 30 and still living with roommates
2) Being almost 30 and still being single, not so much being single..but will i have children?
3) Being almost 30 about to release an EP this summer and if it doesn't go well..then what
4)...almost being 30.

I mean really, 30 truly is the new Zero. Its the end of 30 years I "messed up", and the beginning of a fresh start of 30 more years to look forward to, conquer, and excel in.  Its also a time to reflect...with no regrets (I say this with my fingers crossed behind my back) so what is next.. What could be next.

I drove home tonight from a friends house.  We had an amazing crock pot dinner, and caught up on what was going on in our lives.  She talked about her current boyfriend, I talked about my music...aka my current "boyfriend" We talked about how she "never thought she'd say," "he's so cute when" "it was so frustrating when we" and as much as I truly did enjoy her so happy, talking about her significant other,  I kind of missed a REAL significant other for myself, and not just what I occupy my time with....and this is when I started to freak out.

I tried to talk about a guy I've been "hanging out" with..but by hangin out, I really mean making out.  As I tried to tell her about it, I stopped myself and admitted it was more of a , whatever, kiss kiss, see ya later, situation.  This guy and I always run into each other slightly inebriated, lonely, and if anything its become more of a game.  We sneak off, make sure none of our friends know whats going on, but soon enough we'll be figured out and our whole game will be done, and true to most of my "good times" he'll end up meeting his one and only shortly after we're through. 

You know how this all starts....freaking out..Me trying to control a situation. "I'm Lonely.  I would love a true companion!  Hey you, whats your name? You'll do"....continued freak out.  "I'm going nuts.  Hey there Whiskey.  How bout you and I take a load off" ...wake up..continued freak out. Its time to chill.  Take off the edge with a deep breath in.  Say "hey!! Freak!! You can't control this..just conquer it by accepting what it is..You're 30, single, a musician, you have your health, love, working body parts...so far, you're doing pretty darn great for 30"

Whats great is, I'm NOT 30 yet.. I still have 8 more months.  So here's to not "freaking out" and instead...moving forward.  Here's to stopping mistakes before they happen.  Here's to my EP being amazing and me not having to work retail ever again!  Here's to 30 and FREAKING loving it!!